Wednesday, July 22, 2009


"Not flesh of my flesh, Nor bone of my bone, But still miraculously my own. Never forget for a single minute, You didn't grow under my heart - but in it"
Author: Fleur Conkling Heylinger

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Ponderings...


"God has his own schedule, and we need to follow it. When you find yourself in a hurry to get your own way, ask God to forgive you. Ask him for patience to wait on him. God's timing is always perfect and brings the greatest blessing."

May 28
I found this quote on Memorial Day weekend after more than a few frustrating conversations about our adoption process. I am still learning to let go and let God! Tuesday afternoon, on May 27th I got a call from Adoption Ministry. It was J sounding a bit urgent. I called her back as soon as I dismissed my class. She told me she had a baby boy who was born on the weekend and she wanted to talk with me about him. He was relinquished at the hospital by his birth mom and he needed as adoption plan by noon the next day to avoid being released to DSHS. Breathless I asked questions that came to mind and then told her CB was on jury duty and I couldn't call him until 4:30! It was 2:30 when we talked. This left me with two hours to kill and try to maintain some sanity...not easy! I had a wonderful friend pick up Bug at school, she cried with me and promised to pray for us. I called both our parents and they were ecstatic! Finally at 4:30 sitting on the side of the road in Sumner CB finally called me back. By this time I had dialed him at least 10 times and sent two somewhat cryptic texts. His simple reply was , "let's go get him"! :) That is my hubby, he's the rock and calm and cool one. He came to meet me and we got to tell Bug at our best friend's house. We told him we thought that God had found a baby for our family. He was very matter of fact, thrilled to hear it was a little brother!

From there we went to dinner and Babies R us, discussing baby names all the way! Of course that was all terribly overwhelming and we got two outfits and a mattress and sheet for our old cradle. The rest would come in time.

We looked over our name list and continued to debate. I began looking up the meanings of the names and we found that Jonathon means "Gift from God". It all seemed so simple to Bug because that is just what this baby is for our family! It also keeps the syllables the same for all of us. He is Jonathon Phillip after my dear Uncle who passed away this past winter as well as my grampy that died when I was 5.

Wednesday morning we dropped Bug at school and met our lawyer to go over the paperwork. By 10:30 we were at the hospital meeting our son. He was almost 3 days old and had been sent to the level 2 nursery since he had no none to care for him. He was the biggest and healthiest baby there! He got a lot of love from his nurses that seemed very happy to see us. Irina remarked to us that this baby who had no one suddenly had everyone. Eager grandparents from both sides had made the trek to meet the newest addition!

As the mom to a newborn who has adjusted a little each day, I must close this for now to get my boys to bed! Gods timing is perfect and His blessing amazes us each day. Our family is complete, but the adventure is just begun! Thanks for all the love and prayers!

Friday, April 10, 2009

Mexico Pictures!

We had a great Spring Break this year. We got away on a Mexican Riviera Cruise with CB's whole family, it was great! Loved being in the sun after such a long, cold and wet winter. Check out our pictures! We flew to San Diego to spend a night and one sunny day in a beautiful pool. Our ship, the Carnival Spirit left on Saturday from SD Bay. We cruised to Acapulco, Zihuatanejo and Manzanillo. Zihuatanejo was by far our favorite stop. Our Bug had a great time dancing with his cousin, they are both only children and they got along great, we were thrilled. It was hard to come home after all that pampering!

Sunday, February 8, 2009

First Violin Recital

Our Bug played "Mississippi Hotdog" in his first violin recital. He was so cute and so serious! It was tough for mom and dad, we were as nervous as he was! He is learning with the Suzuki method and it is a great fit for him. I love to watch and listen. He really likes it so far! He's mastered Twinkle, Twinkle since this recital. Too cute!

Monday, February 2, 2009

Our Adoption Story, Part 1

People asked about our adoption timeline and I thought it would be good to share a bit about how we got to this point. Our son, "Bug" is our biological miracle! I am a cancer survivor that had been told I most likely wouldn't be able to have my own children. Of course when you are a medical anomaly...they really don't know for certain. We got married knowing we wanted a couple kids. We started later in life so we didn't have time to waste. After about 6 months of marriage it was time to start praying and hoping for the best. We'd been told that conceiving could take up to a year and not to be discouraged so we had prepared ourselves. It took one cycle off my BC and I was late...not sure what that meant. I put off a test, afraid of the outcome. Finally I picked a few up, but still was afraid to check! One morning two full weeks late I had to know. I took the test and got in the shower. When I stepped out I took a cautious peek...I saw two clear lines...what did that mean? I looked and confirmed my greatest hope. I was pregnant! Now what? I hadn't even pondered how to tell CB. I stepped quietly into our room where he was still sleeping and simply whispered..."you were right, I am pregnant!". Poor guy about had a heart attack. He isn't a morning person at all and this was a shocker! Needless to say, I had to get in to the doctor to confirm it. They gave me confirmation and a heart beat! I was almost 8 weeks along at that point...we even got pics of our little "bug".


I had a great pregnancy, no problems no complaints. I actually enjoyed most days! We elected to have a C-section because I wasn't keen on the idea of labor or birth trouble. My doctor was very supportive and we set our date and made our plans. Delivery was a breeze. Took minutes to be looking at my son, all 7 lbs and 13 ounces of him...beautiful! When you have had major surgery a C-section is nothing. Other than some slight nausea afterward it was great. I was so annoyed to be grounded to my bed for 12 hours! We had Bug in our room and got to learn together how to care for this new little life. He had a bit of jaundice so we stayed an extra day to be pampered. Being mid November it was fairly cold and stormy, we stayed in a lot those first few weeks. CB had 6 weeks off and I had taken a 3 month leave...it was paradise! Those days went too fast...



I had a tough time getting my energy back. I went to the doctor and was treated for anemia and a persistent cough. I couldn't walk up stairs or run without getting totally winded and coughing. I took antibiotics and even used an inhaler to try to improve my symptoms. I ended up in the ER late one night and got sent home with a diagnosis of viral bronchitis. Eventually my GP decided to do some tests and I found out I had gall stones and needed to get my gall bladder removed. Simple scope surgery, out patient...should be easy. By this time my Bug was almost 18 months old and he needed a energetic momma to keep up with him! Surgery went well, my dear mom came over to help out when I got home. Hubby went back to work, Bug to his caregiver and I had a few days off to recover. Sadly, I began to feel worse instead of better. Short of breath and having gained almost 10 lbs, I called my doctor. Something wasn't right, I wasn't even eating anything. He examined me and sent me home telling me this was "normal" following abdominal surgery.

Two sleepless nights of panic because I couldn't lay flat and my heart was racing finally sent us to Urgent Care thinking perhaps I was bleeding internally. They did respond, My BP was 180/115 and heart rate was over 120. I knew I didn't feel good and I was fighting to stay conscious by this point. They told my dear hubby that he could take me to the ER or they would call for an ambulance. I begged him to take me. We called my parents and they met us there to take Bug. I also called my sister on the way who was in Medical school and a great advocate and support to me.

No waiting at the ER. I was in a hooked to machines before I really knew what was happening. Lots of tests, no one really talking to me directly other than to ask the same questions over and over. Chest x-ray showed an enlarged heart and pulmonary edema. Next came an Echocardiogram that showed an EF of 20%. Not good. Here I was a new momma only in my 30's in full heart failure. Off to the ICU I went. I was terrified, cried a lot just kept thinking over and over that I needed to be here for my son. We had never even been apart and they were admitting me to the ICU. I knew enough to know that wasn't good. After all, the heart is one thing we can't live without.

Friday, January 16, 2009

What a week...

Had a bit of a scare with our Bug this week. He randomly had blood in his urine Wednesday night, like lots of it...bright red. We calmly left dinner dishes on the table and took him to urgent care trying not to alarm him along the way. They did some tests and gave us the option of going to the hospital or going home and returning in the morning for further tests. Thankfully Auntie Em helped us out and consulted via phone from her post at Children's hospital. We did go home with her blessing. I did sub plans and we had Bug sleep with us to keep a close eye on him. Tests the next day ruled out anything serious and left us to believe he has a post strep inflammation in his kidneys that will run its course in a few days. Whew...just a little stressful! God is good and it was a great lesson to Bug because he has this great child's faith where he just knows God healed him!

Another big item today was a call from our Adoption agency asking about our racial and gender preferences. When I confirmed that we don't have specific exclusions, they asked if they could show our family profile to two birth moms this weekend! Might be worse knowing this information. At the very least it is totally distracting! Nice to know something is happening at least. They will call if there is interest and we'll go from there. The next step would be discussing specifics of our adoption plan to see if it would be the right fit. We really want to meet he birth mom and have a chance to get a sense of her. We both feel like this is very important to knowing if it is the right situation for us. For now we pray and trust that God already knows and has it all in His perfect plan. Bug is quite excited, although he does run hot and cold on the issue. Tonight he wants a baby brother...we'll see, stay tuned!